Ahram Online shared a set of "absurd" quotations by Egypt's presidential candidates (full list here). Our favorites:
The Shafik Gems
"They were going to the Mostafa Mahmoud Mosque to dance, and then they said they would dance in Tahrir, according to the news circulating at the time. What proves my point is that they were allowed in."
"I will keep saying it until the very last day of my life (that Mubarak is his role model), because he was very courageous. He has a special ability to separate his personal relationships from his work."
"I fought in battles, killed, got killed and have done everything."
"I would fix the traffic problem in 24 hours (if he assumes power) … I couldn't do that during the uprising because I held the post (prime minister) for only one month."
The Morsi Gems
"The bird has a head, wings, body, covered in feathers and has a butt. Every part has a role to play. We want the (Muslim Brotherhood's long-lasting) Renaissance Project to fly and overcome all obstacles and difficulties."
"My sons (who were born in 1980 and 1981) gained United States citizenship because they were born there. They did not know that fact until they were arrested [in Egypt last year]."
"Mohamed Abou-Treika scored a hat-trick last week (in May against Stade Malien in Cairo). By the way, he was a substitute."